The Inlaws

Love is a strong bond between humans. It makes you do crazy things like go out to dinner with your significant others parents. Its a risky business especially when your wife's mother is constantly trying to convince her that you will never be good enough.  Everything is a test.  If the service is poor it reflects upon you. If the food is bad its your fault. Even if you have had the dish a dozen times and each time it was spot on.  It won't be that time you recommend it to one of her parents.  You might as well hang up the idea of having a glass of good wine or a couple of beers.  At that point in their eyes you're an alcoholic.  Its all about best behavior and blaming the restaurant pick on your wife through positive affirmations like "this was a great idea honey!" And "I would have never thought of making a reservation here! You're the best.".  Despite knowing the rules  all too well I took a leap of faith this time. When i found out they were coming to town I made reservations at the Seven Sows Bourbon and Larder.  I knew that Seven Sows was fairly new to the Asheville scene but I also knew the chef and owners weren't.  The only problem now was to convince the love of my life's parents this place was legit. 

Fortunately my wife's father is laid back, adventurous, positive and well, nice.  Her mother is an entirely different story.  She rarely leaves her comfort zone and is eager to let you know how bad it sucks when she does.  It can make for an uncomfortable series of events.  I however, am like a kid on Christmas morning.  Not only have I been looking forward to this restaurant for a week.  I've convinced my wife to go to a place with the name larder in it.  Try wrapping your mind around that one.  Back to the point.  The following are highlights in what I like to call "How not to piss off your in-laws while eating dinner as an outlaw.".

1:  Always smile.

Misery Loves Company

So your wife's mom is a bit of a...has a dogmatic personality.  Welcome to the club.  All you want is to sit back and enjoy your dinner drama free and with no hormonal interruptions.  Too bad.  Face the fact that this is going to be a long night.  Order a bottle of wine as quickly as possible.  When she starts to slur order some bread with a smile.  Ask her how she likes the local City Bakery ciabatta bread they use.  Talk about how amazing the truffle oil and Cruze butter tastes. If you don't do all of this with a smile, you will frown and waste away in misery while she pulls your wife to the side to discuss why you're being so condescending.  Scratch that.  She will have that discussion no matter what you do.  Finally, sit back and enjoy the amazing butter spread and the warm local bread and smile.  The night has just begun.

2.  Engage the parents.

Always engage your guests.  Otherwise they will think you are not interested in their company.  In this particular situation it can be difficult because while you don't mind talking to her father, your wife's mother can be a ramble box of negativity.  Conversation can become a delicate dance not to mention a test of patience.  An easy example is asking what the others are going to have for dinner.  In most situations this is a cut and dry Q&A session.  Dinner with MIL & FIL is not most situations.  After our little powwow my wife and I decided to share the grilled romaine salad to start.  I don't want to ruin your first experience with this so I will just say that it's creative, delicious and unexpected.  You'll see what I mean.  The best appetizer however, went to the woman of the hour.  MIL ordered the fried brussels sprouts.  I was fortunate enough to taste this via my wife as MIL didn't offer a taste to me directly.  I love brussels sprouts. Those of you who don't I happen to know for a fact that you will like these.  FIL doesn't particularly care for them and even he was splitting elbows with MIL.  The rutabaga hash was unbelievably good and thanks to my FIL I was able to get my hands on one of the soft egg halves.  So far, so good great.

3.  Pay attention.

Not only is this stressful for you, it's also stressful for your lover.  She wants to enjoy her evening too.  Picking up on her vibe is key to making sure your evening continues without a mother/daughter debate.  Despite the fact that your wife hates the way you eat she loves you.  She will stand up for you in the moment even if it means lashing out at her loving parents.  You do not want this.  That said, at this point I am trying to keep up with ignoring the conversation between wife and MIL, talking about golf with FIL, the loss of feeling in my hand from my lovers frustration squeezes under the table and dreaming of the food that is about to grace me. I've got my eyes posted on that kitchen door chanting quietly "send me my savior.".  Thank the food gods for the timing in the kitchen was great.  We didn't have to wait long before our entrees arrived at the table.  How can you go wrong with a bounty of rabbit, goat cheese, NC catfish, quail, collards and pulled pork (to name a few) bestowed upon your table.  These guys had just taken me to regions of the south I thought were long gone.  Each dish was rich in culture and love.  If this was a marriage, I was saying I do.  No shotgun necessary.

While it was difficult taking the inlaws to a new restaurant that thrives on being different.  That same restaurant saved my ass.  The food was phenomenal, service was great and the artwork and decor added to the experience.  Both MIL & FIL left extremely happy despite their initial trepidation.  The laid back feel coupled with attention to detail in everything they do will keep this restaurant pumping out great food for some time to come.  The best part of this experience was after we got home my wife made a reservation for the following week.  That's saying a lot Seven Sows considering all she eats is sticks and stones.

I'm a firm believer in the notion that good things come to those who wait.  I wouldn't recommend waiting however.  Grab those Subaru keys Asheville and get to Seven Sows.